The Lunitics
by Human Lightshow
Summary: The Teen Titans are in an insane asylum...yar!
1. Are Taking Over The Assylum

The Lunatics  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own The Teen Titians, the song The Lunatics (Have Taken Over The Asylum) (which is by The Fun Boy Three), Blade, Alice In Wonderland, The Bill Of Rights, Queer Eye for they Straight Guy, or any of the Final Fantasy Games.  
  
A/N: The song The Lunatics (Have Taken Over The Asylum) is probably not heard by anyone who reads this, because it comes from the 80's. Which of course is making many of you say - - "Hey! We could have! I like 80's music!" Then let me finish. It is from the 80's AND the UK. I'm lucky I even heard it. So, if the lyrics are wrong, don't look at me. I had to go by sound for the whole thing. Also, I may continue this or a may make it a one shot. I dunno. If you think I should continue, then review. The song will be in bold.  
  
Chapter One: (Have Taken Over The Asylum)  
  
I see a clinic full of cynics Who want to twist the people's wrist. When the Teen Titans awoke, they were not home. Instead they were in a room with squishy walls.  
"What are these strange white jackets with many strap things that make us hug our selves?" asked Starfire, who struggled to get out of it to no avail. "And why can we not get out of them?"  
"They're straight jackets, man!" said Beast Boy. He turned into a fish and slipped out of his, then turned back into his normal form.  
"This has to be Slade's doing!" said Robin, jumping to conclusions.  
"Dude," said Cyborg, "it's not always Slade."  
"Beast Boy," said Raven, "would you mind getting the rest of us out of our 'love-me' jackets?"  
"Right," said Beast Boy.  
"I thought they were straight jackets," said Starfire.  
"Don't worry about it, Star," said Robin.  
Soon, they five were out of their strange white jackets with many strap things that made them hug themselves, and standing around wondering what to do next.  
"I think the best move of action would be to get out of here," said Robin.  
"But how?" asked Starfire.  
They all stood there a while longer.  
"Maybe we should try the door?" said Raven.  
They all looked at the metal door with a jail bar window.  
"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight," every one else said, sweat dropping.  
"It's obviously gunna be locked," said Cyborg, charging his arm cannon...thing.  
"Blast it, dude," said Beast Boy. Robin pushed it open, and gave them an 'I-am-smarter-then-thou' look.  
"Maybe it's not locked," said Cyborg, un-charging his arm cannon thing. Robin and Raven rolled their eyes. Only you couldn't tell that Robin was because of his mask.  
The all walked into the hallway outside of the room they were in.  
"Where are we?" asked Starfire.  
"It looks like we're in an Insane Asylum," said Robin.  
"Whaaaaaaaaaaat?" asked Beast Boy. "Why would we need to be in an Insane Asylum???" Every one gave him a look that said, 'I could see why you should be in one...' He glared.  
"Why are you giving moi that look?" he asked.  
"Because you're crazy," Cyborg said, laughing.  
"Shut up!" said Beast Boy. Raven rolled her eyes again, Robin shook his head, and Starfire giggled.  
"Nooooooooooooooooowah!" said a voice. They all turned to see Slade. "You have gotten out of your...room...things..."  
"I told you it was Slade!" said Robin, going into a super-action pose, the background getting all slashy.  
"I'm not Slade!" said Slade. "I'm Blade!" Slade took off his mast and revealed that he was indeed Blade, the half vampire half human vampire hunter.  
"What?" asked Raven.  
"Really?" asked Starfire, who actually didn't know who Blade was.  
"No!" said Blade. "I'm a cynic! And I want to twist your wrists!" Blade ran up and twisted Cyborg's wrist. They're watching every move we make. We're all included on their list.   
"Hey!" said Cyborg. "How you gunna treat a brother like that?" He threw Blade at a far away wall. Blade scuttled away.  
"Nancy Boy!" said Beast Boy. Robin walked over to where Blade made impact with the wall.  
"What do you see, Robin?" asked Raven, flying over to where Robin was. He picked up something that Blade had left on the ground.  
"It's a list..." Robin said, looking it over.  
"Hey!" said Cyborg. "All our names our on this list!" He waved it around franticly.  
"Cameras..." said Raven, looking up.  
"What?" asked Beast Boy. Raven pointed. Above every metallic door in the hallway was a camera, all pointing to where the Teen Titans stood.  
"They're all watching us!" said Beast Boy. "Like that movie! Were those people were being watched all the time! And then they dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed!" Everyone stared at him.  
"What?" he asked. "I don't want to die."  
"Neither do I," said Robin. "We should figure out who's doing all this." He started to walk down the hall were Blade ran. Starfire looked at the others, and then flew after him. Raven, Beast Boy, and Cyborg looked at each other and shrugged, then followed. The lunatics have taken over the asylum. The lunatics have taken over the asylum. "So why do you think we're here?" asked Beast Boy. Robin and Starfire were ahead of them.  
"Who knows," said Raven. "It may be a new foe that we haven't encountered yet."  
"Whoever it is," said Cyborg, charging up his arm and looking into one of the cameras, "they should know that these lunatics are taking over this asylum, and that they are prepared."  
"There's a door up ahead!" yelled Robin. The three ran to catch up with him and Starfire.  
"Is it locked?" asked Cyborg.  
"There's only one way to find out..." Robin replied. He took hold of the handle and twisted it.  
The door opened. "Go nuclear," the cowboy told us. And I tend to disagree.   
The room revealed to have a cowboy who looked strangely like Iverne from Final Fantasy VIII.  
"Go nuclear," he said, jumping onto a Chocabo with a golden sheen.  
"No!" yelled Selphie, jumping onto the Chocabo from behind him. "If you do, the nuclear will go for you!" With that, they rode into the sunset.  
"Who was the cowboy with the long hair and the girl with the strange flipped out hair? And what was that chicken-duck like creature with golden feathers they were riding?" asked Starfire, very confused.  
"Dude," said Beast Boy, "That was Iverne and Selphie from Finale Fantasy VIII. And what they were riding was a Chocabo."  
"Finale fantasy eight?" asked Starfire, even more confused.  
"It's a game," said Robin. "We should follow them!"  
Robin took off after the pair and the bird, quickly followed by Beast Boy and Cyborg.  
"Did you see that, man?" asked Beast Boy. "That was a Golden Chocabo!!!"  
"I know!!!" said Cyborg. "If we catch that thing, we'll never go hungry again!"  
"Dude," said Beast Boy, "we already don't have to go hungry!" Raven and Starfire exchanged looks.  
"Is this another one of those 'boy things'?" asked Starfire asked.  
"I would suspect so," said Raven with a sigh. Cuz' when the mad man flips a switch, The nuclear will go for me.   
When they had finally caught up the Iverne, Selphie, and the Chocabo, the couple and the bird disappeared to reveal the Mad Hatter, who began speaking in Al Bhed. The Teen Titans stared at him.  
"Who is this?" Starfire asked Raven, whispering.  
"The Mad Hatter," Raven answered, still staring blankly at the small man with the big hat. When she saw Starfire's confused look, she continued. "He's a character in the book called 'Alice in Wonderland'."  
"You read 'Alice in Wonderland'?" asked Cyborg, looking back at Raven. She shrugged.  
Finally, the Mad Hatter held up a switch, still yelling in Al Bhed. They stared at him.  
Sighing (in Al Bhed), he flipped the switch, and ran like hell.  
"I wonder what that was all about," Robin asked, turning to face Raven and Starfire. Starfire was looking at the sky with concern.  
"Uh, Robin," she said, "I am happy that the door led us outside, though the people from the video game contraption confuse me, but I don't think the things in the sky are good..."  
"What?" asked Robin, looking in the direction that Starfire was.  
Coming straight at them were two nuclear bombs.  
"Great," said Beast Boy. "This must have been what the cowboy and his girlfriend warned us about."  
"I still wish I had been able to get that golden Chocabo in Final Fantasy VII..." said Cyborg, ignoring the situation at hand.  
"I don't think that's gunna matter right now," said Beast Boy, pointing to the sky. Cyborg looked up to the nuclear bombs.  
"Oh..." Cyborg said, eyes widening.  
"Starfire and I can take care of it," said Raven, rising into the air.  
"We can?" asked Starfire.  
"Better bring me with you, so we don't make any mistakes," said Robin. Raven nodded, and flew into the air. Starfire took hold of Robin and flew after her.  
When Raven got to the first bomb, all she simply had to do was throw it into the nearest body of water...which wasn't as far as you would think.  
"Drop me onto the bomb!" Robin told Starfire when they reached the second bomb. She did as he said. Using his cool utility belt and his awesome smarts, Robin made the bomb a fluke and saved the day! And the background went all slashy whilst he did. Because it's cool when stuff go all slashy. Wheee! The lunatics have taken over the asylum. The lunatics have taken over the asylum.   
Raven and Starfire flew back to the ground, Robin in hold. Or being toted. I dunno how you would say it, buy you all know what I mean, right?  
"We are at least free from the Insane Asylum, right?" Asked Starfire, putting Robin on the ground.  
"That's not good enough for me," said Robin. "I want to find out who's been doing all of this."  
"Yah?" asked Beast Boy. "And how are we supposed to do that?"  
"We go back into the Insane Asylum," said Robin in a cool superhero dramatics voice. Maybe someone gasps too. That just makes it sound really cool.  
"I'm not going back in there!" said Beast Boy.  
"But if we do," said Cyborg, "maybe we can find that golden Chocabo!"  
"I don't want a golden Chocabo!" said Beast Boy.  
"Too late," said Raven. "Robin's already going in." And indeed he was.  
The other four stood around, wondering if they should follow Robin or not.  
"Wait for me," said Starfire finally.  
"Yah! Wait for me too!" said Cyborg, visions of Golden Chocabos dancing in his head.  
"No way am I going back into the loony bin," said Beast Boy. "What about you, Raven?"  
"When my other choice is to stay out here with you?" asked Raven. "I think I'll take the first..." Raven began walking to the door.  
"What's that supposed to mean???" asked Beast Boy, following.  
When they walked in they saw Iverne, Selphie, and the Chocabo attacking the Mad Hatter and Blade, who were in little costumes that made them look like doctors in an Insane Asylum, or something.  
"You're just in time," said Iverne, who was putting little butterfly stickers all over Blade's face and such.  
"We're taking over the asylum!" said Selphie, who was wearing the Mad Hatter's top hat. The Chocabo was pecking at him. I see the faces of salvation. But I just cannot see the point.   
Suddenly, and Terra appeared from nowhere in an angel costume.  
"I'm the face of salvation!" she yelled, flying in circles.  
"I thought you were dead!" cried Beast Boy.  
"I thought you were commencing your eternal sleep of were you do not wake up!" said Starfire.  
"I think that's the same thing as being dead, Star," said Cyborg, who had stolen a lasso from Iverne and was trying to lasso the golden Chocabo.  
"I don't see the point to all this" yelled Robin, wondering what to do. Cuz' there's so much that's here today, That no one wants to take away.   
Terra hovered there for a while after getting tiered of flying around in circles (she was getting dizzy). Finally, she spoke to the mayhem below her (Robin and Iverne were in a fight because Iverne thought he was the one who stole his lasso, Selphie and Starfire were having a nice little "girl talk", the Golden Chocabo was trying to mate with Beast Boy, who still looked like a jolly green Chocabo, Cyborg was still trying to lasso the golden Chocabo, and Raven was having a very educated discussion with the Mad Hatter).  
"I, as the Face of Salvation, will grant you one wish! For I am also a magical face! Of Salvation!"  
"I want to know who's doing this!" yelled Robin, all heroic like with the background all slashy.  
"I want Glorp!" yelled Starfire, confused, with the background filled with different types of Glorp.  
"I want this to all be taken away!" yelled Beast Boy tearfully, the background filled with green and golden Chocabos.  
"I want the golden Chocabo!" yelled Cyborg desperately, the background filled with dancing Moogles.  
"I want a Cheshire Cat," said Raven sarcastically, the background filled with smiles.  
"I want a girlfriend!" sobbed Iverne sadly; the background filled with girls from the Final Fantasy games.  
"I want to be Iverne's girlfriend!" giggled Selphie in a giggly voice, the background filled with pillows.  
"Really?" asked Iverne, a touching scene following that I am too lazy to include.  
"I want a spot o' tea!" cried the Mad Hatter, the background filled with tea.  
The Chocabo said something in Al Bhed that no one caught.  
Blade didn't say anything (no footage found).  
Terra hovered there for a moment, deciding whose wishes she should grant.  
"Nah," she said. "There's too much stuff here for me to take away...I mean grant."  
Then she disappeared in a cloud of smoke. The lunatics have taken over the asylum. The lunatics have taken over the asylum.   
The Teen Titans stood there for a moment (save for Cyborg, who was still trying to get that damn golden Chocabo), not knowing what to day.  
"We're a takin' over tha' asylum," Selphie began to sing, taking the lasso away from Cyborg and twirling it over her head.  
"Doo doo dooooooooooooooooo!" sang Iverne, taking the lasso from her and tying up the Mad Hatter.  
The Chocabo clucked in Al Behd.  
"The lunatics have taken over the asylum," sang some Moogles in a British accent.  
"My head hurts," said Raven, rubbing her head.  
"I am so confuuuuuuuuuused!" said Starfire, close to tears.  
"IT. HAS. TO BE. SLADE!!!" said Robin, frustrated to the point of a mental breakdown.  
Cyborg was still trying to get the golden Chocabo, and had bribed Beast Boy into acting as bait. Take away my right to choose, Take away my point of view. The lunatics have taken over the asylum.   
Just then Slade came with the bill of rights.  
"I'm taking away your right to choose!" he said in a voice that sounded like a cross between Barney on Helium, a talk show host, a preacher, and a telemarketer.  
"Meaning," Slade said, "Robin, you no longer have the right to choose to be straight and not gay!"  
There was a poof and Robin was dress like someone from Queer Eye from the Straight guy.  
"Starfire," he continued, "you no longer have the right to choose your Earth name! I must assign one to you!"  
"But I don't have an Earth name!" Starfire whispered to Selphie. Slade ignored her.  
"You're Earth name is now Erifrats!" Slade said, writing it on a black board.  
"But that's just Starfire's name backwards!" Robin protested.  
"Then we'll change it to Etifrats!" said Slade.  
"Then that's just her name backwards with a 't' instead of a 'r'!" said Raven, who was enjoying a cup o' tea.  
"You do not have the right to choose whether that is right or not!" said Slade. He then continued his rant.  
"Cyborg," he said, "you no longer have the right to choose to be shiny!" There was a poof and Cyborg was no longer shiny.  
"Ah!" Cyborg cried. "I'm de-shinyfied! How could you???" Cyborg broke down into tears. The Chocabo felt sorry for him and patted him on the shoulder with a golden wing.  
"Thanks buddy," Cyborg sobbed.  
"Beast Boy," Slade ranted on, "you no longer have the choice to be green!"  
"I didn't choose to be green!" Beast Boy said.  
"Yes you did," said Slade. "And now I comandeth thee to be...blue!"  
There is another puff of smoke and Beast Boy turns blue.  
"Ahhhhh!" Beast Boy yelled. "Now I look like a rip off of Nightcrawler with the same powers as Mystique! You shall pay!"  
"You don't have the right to choose whether I'll pay or not!" laughed Slade. "Now, for my last rant on right one...Raven, you no longer have the right to choose not to were pink!"  
Raven blinked, and then looked down at her outfit. She was wearing a pink outfit only suited for the likes of Brittany Spears. Raven looked back and with a look on her face that said 'If my emotions didn't have to be under control least I kill people, I would so be screaming'.  
"But what!" said Slade, falling off his high horse. "I'm not done taking things away from you!" He waved a magical wand around. "Mwahahahaha! I just took away your point of view!"  
"I don't feel any different," Iverne whispered to Selphie.  
"Maybe it's just effective on the Teen Titians," Selphie whispered back to Iverne.  
"The Lunatics are taking over the Asylum," the Chocabo whispered to the Mad Hatter. Take away my dignity, Take away these things away from me. The lunatics have taken over the asylum.   
"Now I take away your dignity!" said Slade. He waved his fish around, which was once his magic wand, but now wasn't.  
Robin became gayer looking. Starfire's outfit changed into the one of that from the comic book. Cyborg turned ghetto. Beast Boy's pants fell down, revealing Hello Kitty Boxers. Raven's out fit became pinker.  
"I don't even feel gay," said Robin. "This Slade is a rip-off. I mean, I still like Starfire!" There was a horrific gasp from all the other Teen Titans (and Iverne, and Selphie, and the golden Chocabo, and the Mad Hatter; who didn't even know why they were gasping). Robin turned red, and stopped making eye contact with everyone.  
"This costume of wearing is horrific in many proportions!" said Starfire. "It reveals way to much of my chest area, and it does not give me full coverage of my walking limbs or my 'back-side' as Cyborg puts it!" Starfire began to try and cover up her chest, legs, and butt all at once.  
"Yo, fool!" Cyborg said, strangely resembling Mr. T. "Don' mess wit' da Teen Titans! Dey gunna kick your white ass from here ta' tha' hood!" He did a weird "represent" pose that scared many of the other Titans.  
"Showing people's underwear isn't nice," said Beast Boy, pouting.  
"You still may want to pull up your pants there, Beast Boy," said Raven, trying to figure out how she could possible wear more pink then she was at first. Beast Boy blushed and laughed nervously then pulled up his pants.  
"I'm still not done!" said Slade. "Now I take away these things from you!:  
"What things?" asked a random bunny.  
"Everything!" said slave, picking the bunny up and waving it around like a wand.  
With that, the Teen Titans (and some of the others) found that a few of their belongings where missing.  
All of Robin's nifty little gadget things were gone. Starfire found her human name missing from the face of the Earth. Cyborg watched in horror as the golden Chocabo disappeared from sight. Beast Boy's pants were no were to be found. Raven realized that she misplaced her glasses. Iverne's cowboy hat was no longer on his head. Selphie realized in embarrassment that her bra was gone. The Mad Hatter no longer had his tea.  
"My nifty gadgets! They're gone! They were the only thing relevantly close to superpowers that I had!" shrieked Robin, who was more then a little upset.  
"It is okay, Robin," said Starfire, who was very happy that her human name had been taken. "Would it make you feel better if the background went all slashy?" Robin nodded, then did some cool poses against the slashy background.  
"M...my...my g...golden...ch...chu...Chocabo!" wailed Cyborg, on the verge of tears, this time without his buddy to comfort him.  
"I was so close in getting him in the game...and now I've lost him again!" Cyborg cried. As if the fact that he had been momentarily ghetto and the fact that he was no longer shiny like bling bling wasn't bad enough!  
"Man," Beast Boy, "Give me back my pants! This is just wrong!"  
"Never!" laughed Slade hysterically, wearing Beast Boy's pants. Beast Boy winced at the horror of it all.  
"My glasses!" said Raven. "I can cast my spells with out my glasses!"  
"Yes you can," said Robin. "You do it all the time."  
"...that's right," said Raven. "I don't even have glasses." She blinked, the continued drinking English tea.  
"I can't be a cowboy with out my hat," said Iverne, who was starting to hyperventilate. In fact, he was curled up into a ball in a fetal position near a corner.  
"Damn that Rikku!" said Selphie. "Why is it always my bra that she has to steal? Why can't she steal Tifa's, or something?"  
"Because Tifa doesn't wear a bra," said Iverne, who was feeling better now that he knew Selphie wasn't wearing a bra.  
"My teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea," said the Mad Hatter, who tried to steal Raven's, and died because of it.  
"Remind me not to steal Raven's tea," Beast Boy whispered to Cyborg.  
"Word," said Cyborg. Take away my family, Take away the right to speak. The lunatics have taken over the asylum.   
"Now I'm taking away your family and your right to speak!" yelled Slade. There was some evil laughter and the background got all slashy. In fact the background wasn't the only thing that was getting slashy. So was Slade...  
  
The Teen Titans awoke in their own beds, a cold sweat on their brow.  
"Just a dream..." thought Robin, whose heart was still pounding at the thought of Slade getting a slashy background, and having all his nifty gadgets.  
"How ultimately horrifying!" Starfire said out loud, the nightmare of that costume she had been forced to wear still fresh in her mind.  
"GOLDEN CHOCABO! NOT SHINY!" Yelled Cyborg when he woke up, clutching his Moogle stuffed animal.  
"Nooooooooooooooooowah!" said Beast Boy, wakening up, horrified that the Teen Titans might know about his secret Hello Kitty fetish.  
Raven awoke with out thinking or saying anything, because she was too cool for that. Whoopa!  
They all headed for the kitchen, all entering at the same time.  
"Man," said Beast Boy, getting himself some sugar loaded cereal, "I had the weirdest dream ever last night!"  
"As did I!" said Starfire, breaking out some leftover Glorp from the fridge.  
"Me too!" said Cyborg. "And it left me really wanting to play Final Fantasy Online..."  
"It left me wanting to play Final Fantasy X-2," said Robin, sitting down next to Starfire.  
"I think it's suffice to say that we all had the same dream then?" asked Raven.  
"If it was that, would it really perhaps be a dream then?" asked Starfire, spooning some Glorp and eating it.  
"Who knows?" asked Beast Boy. "I'd rather just forget about it and hopefully never have it again..."  
Every one nodded to this and made a breakfast of their own to consume.  
  
A/N: That was way longer then I thought it would be. oo;;; If anyone stayed and read all of it, pockey for you. And more to any who reveiws and tells me if I should contunie. If I do, it will be to Shiny Shiny by Haysi Fantayzee. Please tell me if I should continue or not. Thanks. 


	2. Jukebox

**Disclaimer: Like I own shit.**

**A/N: Sorry it has taken me so long, but this chapter istslef is long. ;;;**

**Chapter Two: Jukebox**

****

**So I saw you in the pizza place,**

**You where with another girl.**

****

"HUNGERY!" yelled Cyborg, banging his fists on the table. Every one looked at him.

"We can go get something to eat..." Robin said, staring at the half man half machine like he was crazy.

"Yah," Beast Boy said, "You don't have to get all 'Hulk SMASH!' on us."

You see; the Teen Titans were out of eatable food. The mysterious source that some how gives them food and money and cloths, even though none of them have a job, was late, so all that was left was moldy bread, cold oatmeal, tea, and Glorp. Raven was fine with the tea, but if she didn't eat something, she was going to raid Starfire and Beast Boy's "secret" Twinkie stash. In fact, Robin had a strawberry "secret" Twinkie stash. And...hey! Cyborg had a chocolate one!

Now that Raven thought about it, everyone in the Titan's Tower had a "secret" Twinkie stash but her. She cursed herself for not deciding what her favorite flavor was.

"What should we leave the living arrangement building to go and sit and consume at another arrangement, but for consumable goods?" Starfire asked. After everyone paused to figure out what she said, Beast Boy was the first to speak, which was weird, because he was the last to figure it out.

"Pizza!" He said.

"She said where, not what," Robin said. "But a Pizza Place sounds fine."

"HULK WANT PIZZA!" Cyborg said for good measure. Everyone glared at him.

"What about you, Raven?" Starfire asked. "Would consuming the bread and vegetable sauce with molded milk and other various toppings be pleasing to you?"

The three boys gave her puppy dog eyes (Beast Boy actually turned into a green puppy). Starfire, who didn't know what was going on, did the same thing. Raven sighed. She didn't want to disappoint her teammates, so she nodded her head.

"Yes!" Robin said, giving Cyborg a high five. Beast Boy barked, and did something funny. I can't think of what. You just make something up.

Tralala! They all got into Cyborg's spiffy T-Car! Vroom! He wanted to be straight pimpin', yo, so he added some bling bling to the mirror, spinnin' caps', and plush fur interior. Straight up! Woooooooooord!

"Dude," Beast Boy asked, "what happened to your car?"

"I just added some...PIMP JUICE!" Cyborg said, cranking up the radio, and inserting his 50 Cent CD.

"I HOPE THAT THE SPEACKERS ARE UNDER THE SEATS!" yelled Raven over the noise. "OTHER WISE I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHY MY ASS IS VIBRATING!"

"DUDE!" Beast Boy yelled at Robin. "RAVEN SAID 'ASS'! AND IT WASN'T LIKE 'BEAST BOY I'M GUNNA KICK YOUR ASS IF YOU DON'T GO AWAY!'" Robin and Beast Boy laughed and Starfire looked confused.

"What does 'ass' mean?" she asked. "I do not understand!" Sadly, no one heard her because of the music.

Finally, they reached the Pizza place. After sitting, they began to try and figure out what to eat when Starfire's eyes went wide.

"You okay, Star?" Robin asked.

"It's YOU!" Starfire said, pointing. Robin turned around, then turned back to face Starfire.

"That's...not me..." he said, wondering what was wrong with her.

"Not ME," Starfire said, "YOU."

"That's. Not. Me," Robin said.

"NOOOO! NOT. ME! YOU! YOU! YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!" Starfire said, waving her arms around franticly.

"Ya' think she's confused?" Cyborg asked, leaning into Robin's ear so he could whisper to him.

"Maybe his name is 'U'," Beast Boy said.

"Not 'U'! You!" Starfire said, which sounds really confusing if you don't read it typed. Not that there's really another way to read it. Is there?

"That's what I said," Beast Boy said, confused.

"He's with another girl," Raven said dryly, not really paying attention to what was going on. Starfire gasped.

"I know..." Starfire said, gasping and looking at the girl. Raven rolled her eyes.

****

**It was a crime; it was such a disgrace,**

**You really shattered my world.**

****

"This is a crime!" Starfire said.

"All he's doing is dancing!" Robin protesting.

"Maybe we should just get cheese..." Beast Boy said.

"Naw, naw man!" Cyborg. "I can't stand just cheese! Besides, if each of us eats half a pizza..."

"You and Beast Boy always manage to eat a _whole _pizza," Raven put in.

"So can I!" Robin protested, feeling that his manliness was being degraded because they didn't mention that he could eat a whole pizza.

"Fine," Raven said, "Me and Starfire can share our pizza and you can all get your own."

"Yesssssssssssssssssssssss," Cyborg said, raising the roof. He would have gotten up and done a victory dance, too, but he was by the window in the booth, and Robin was next to him, so he didn't want to crush or break anything, like, say, Robin's tiny superpower-less body.

"What do you want on you pizza?" Raven asked Starfire.

"My world is shattered because of you!" Starfire said, putting the back of her hand to her forehead in a dramatic pose.

"...Never mind," Raven said. "We'll just get cheese."

"Oh, no," Starfire said, removing her hand from her forehead. "I want octopus and anchovies. Ooh! And pineapple!" Raven made a face.

"Right," she said, "half octopus, anchovies, and pineapple; half pepperoni. Then one...what?"

"Veggie Lovers," Beast Boy said, next to Raven.

"Meat Lovers," Cyborg said, making a face at Beast Boy.

"...I guess I'll just have sausage and mushrooms," Robin said, after pondering for a while.

****

**Little things remind me of you;**

**Cheap cologne, and that damn song too!**

****

"Okay," Raven said, "that's one half octopus, anchovies, and pineapple; half pepperoni, one veggie lovers, one meat lovers, and one sausage and mushroom." She looked at Starfire. "You wanna go order?"

"Little things remind me of You..." Starfire said to know one. "Cheap cologne and..." She glared at the Jukebox, were the man who was not me but you had started a song.

"That damn song toooooooooo!" She yelled, standing up and nearly knocking the table over.

"...Uh...." Said all the other Titians.

"Did Star just say the word 'damn'?" Beast Boy asked Cyborg, whispering.

"Yeah, I think so..." he replied.

"I'll...just go get it..." Robin said, getting out of his chair slowly and tiptoeing past Starfire, who was still standing and glaring, like some weird orange and purple hate statue with glowing eyes and slightly glowing fists that were clenched to her sides.

"Hey Star," Beast Boy asked, "you okay?"

****

**Don't put another dime in the jukebox,**

**I don't wanna hear that song no more.**

**Don't put another dime in the jukebox,**

**I don't wanna hear that song no more.**

****

Starfire twitched.

"DON'T PUT ANOTHER DIME IN THE JUKEBOX!" She yelled at the man. "I DON'T WANNA HEAR THAT SONG NO MORE!"

The man stared at her like she was insane.

"Was Starfire just grammatically incorrect?" Cyborg asked, staring at her like all the others in the Pizza Place were.

"Yes..." Raven said, "Yes she was."

"Starfire is never grammatically incorrect," Beast Boy said, "half the time you can't even understand her!"

Starfire resumed twitching and glaring (and glowing).

****

**Then I learned the treacherous end:**

**You were with my best friend!**

****

Robin came back.

"The pizzas are gunna take a minuet," he said, sitting down carefully and eyed Starfire. She looked like she had some major PMS, and he wasn't ABOUT to mess with her.

"Can you make out the female human that he is moving around in a pattern with?" Starfire asked, sounding a little more like herself, but still entirely creepy.

"Not really..." Raven began, but was cut off by Starfire giving out a loud gasp.

"It is my best friend!" she exclaimed, looking very offended. Robin turned around.

"Hey!" he said. "That looks like Blackfire!"

It was too late. Starfire had already fainted.

No. I think I should cut this part off were it's says "Blackfire". Maybe I was leading up to something.

Okay, I got it now. Starfire had all ready walked over to you and Blackfire.

"Since when was Blackfire ANYONE'S friend, much less Star's?" Cyborg asked.

"Dude," Beast Boy asked, "Ya think Star's on drugs?"

"I bet Slade sold them to her," Robin mumbled, glaring at you and Blackfire.

****

**Ain't got no class, ain't go no respect. **

**My broken heart will never mend.**

****

"You ain't got no class!" Starfire yelled at you.

"Star!" said Blackfire. "How...how did you..." She grabbed her sister by the arms. "I'm so sorry, sister, we...we didn't want you to see us like this!"

"I bet you didn't!" Starfire sobbed. "My broken heart will NEVER mend!!!"

Starfire turned to storm off.

"Was Blackfire just NICE to Star?" Asked Robin, looking on in wonder, for he was the boy wonder, and that's what boy wonders do. I think. I wouldn't know, for I am not a boy, or all that wonderful for that matter.

"I...I think she was..." said Cyborg.

"But I thought they hated each other!" said Beast Boy. "With a passion!"

"Something is definitely wrong here," said Raven, who just happened to be listening to the song playing. "Starfire seems to be nearly quoting the song playing on that Jukebox."

"I bet Slade's behind this," Robin said, clenching his fist.

"Or the Borg," said Cyborg, who had been watching too much Star Trek lately.

"Or the FDA," said Beast Boy, who was currently afraid of the FDA due to a dream about the FDA kidnapping him and using his DNA to try and find "An unlimited (but slightly green) food source". The only person who knew about the dream was Raven (because he told her) and she just laughed; surprising, but not comforting.

"Or my father," said Raven, who was chuckling at Beast Boy. He glared at her and the others gave her a look that said "why-is-raven-chuckling?".

****

**Little things remind me of you;**

**Cheap cologne, and that damn song too!**

****

Just as Starfire turned to leave, she glared at the jukebox.

"I SAID," she yelled, "that I DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO THIS VOCAL PATTERN OF NOTES AND...STUFF!"

She shot one of her bolt things at it and it fried...then continued playing the song.

"Whoa," said Beast Boy, "That song is seriously making Starfire P.O.ed..."

"She just defaced public property!" Robin said.

"I'm proud," said Cyborg.

"And why would you be proud of Starfire BREAKING THE LAW?" asked Raven.

"I...don't know..." said Cyborg. "Where's our pizza?"

"Yeah," said Robin, "try and change the subject..."

****

**Don't put another dime in the jukebox,**

**I don't wanna hear that song no more.**

**Don't put another dime in the jukebox,**

**I don't wanna hear that song no more.**

****

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Noooooooooooooowah!" Shrieked Starfire, covering her ears with her hands. "It buuuuuuuuuuurns!" She began banging her head on the floor, Blackfire and You looking on in horror.

"Sister!" Said Blackfire. "Please, stop!"

"I think Star may actually need some medical help!" said Robin, standing up, concerned.

"Or professional help," said Cyborg, still wanting some o' that FIIIIIIIIINE pizza.

"Where's that Insane Asylum dream when we need it?" asked Beast Boy, weirded out by the whole thing.

"I think we should maybe go out there and try and help her," said Raven, getting up. "Or maybe try and calm her down before she starts blowing things up."

Everyone got up, save for Cyborg. They all gave him a look.

"What?" he asked. "Someone has to wait here for the pizza!" They rolled their eyes and walked over to Starfire.

****

**Don't wanna hear that song no more, no more,**

**Don't wanna hear that song no more.**

**Don't wanna hear that song no more, no more,**

**Don't wanna hear that song.**

**Don't wanna hear that song no more, no more,**

**Don't wanna hear that song no more.**

**Don't put another dime in the jukebox,**

**Cuz' I don't wanna hear that song no more.**

****

"Starfire," Robin asked, gabbing her head in his hands so she would stop banging it and further damage herself more then she already had, "are you...okay?"

"I...don't wanna...hear that song...no more!" she wailed, near tears.

"Oh geez," said Beast Boy, "Don't cry, Star! Um...don't cry!" He turned into a bunny. "See? I'm a bunny! You love bunnies! Now, don't cry, Star..." Starfire sniffed, and then blinked, a confused look on her face.

"Ah..." she said, "why...am I...on the surface on the floor...and not at the table?" She spotted Blackfire and stood up and pointed. "And what is my sister doing here!" Blackfire blinked.

"What AM I doing here?" she asked, looking around. "This is SO not the kind of place on Earth that I would hangout at!" She looked at You. "And who the hell are you?"

"You," he said. "Wait...no, that's not right...my names Bob, and I'm a pen salesmen from Oklahoma...what am I doing in Jump City?" Starfire suddenly hunched over.

"Are you feeling okay?" Raven asked her, lifting an eyebrow.

Suddenly oversized hamsters from Hamtaro came and started dancing. The all looked at the animals in horror and wonder.

" 'Where's that Insane Asylum dream when we need it?'" mocked Cyborg, even though it was really to late to mock what Beast Boy said, considering that it was really quite a long time ago. "Now look! There is HAMSTERS DANCING ON THE TABLES!!!"

Suddenly there was a Star Trek like sequence and they were all sucked into a wormhole.

****

**Don't put another dime in the jukebox,**

**I don't wanna hear that song no more.**

****

As you know, children, a worn hole is when you are transported to another time. A black hole, on the other hand, is where you are transported to another place.

That or you die. I have no idea. I just started High School.

****

**Then I learned the treacherous end:**

**You were with my best friend!**

****

So, seeing that they were transported into another time, the Titans found themselves at the point of time where Robin had just come back from ordering the pizzas.

"Can you make out the female human that he is moving around in a pattern with?" Starfire asked, sounding a little more like herself, but still entirely creepy.

He sat down, a confused look on his face.

"Didn't this all just happen?" Raven asked. The rest nodded. Starfire ignored them.

"It's like...a broken record..." Beast Boy said.

"Yah, man," Cyborg. "Which is exactly what this stupid song sounds like."

The Titans exchanged looks.

****

**Ain't got no class, ain't go no respect. **

**My broken heart will never mend.**

**Little things remind me of you;**

**Cheap cologne, and that damn song too!**

****

"The jukebox must be the source of all the confusion and...stuff!" Robin said.

"I thought it was Slade," Beast Boy mumbled under his breath. Robin glared at him.

"Slade must have MADE the jukebox," Robin said in a 'no-duh' voice, rolling his eyes. But, like, you couldn't tell, because of, like, his mask. So, like, the point was, like, totally not made at, like, all.

"We must destroy the jukebox!" Robin said. "And then...SLADE!"

Robin then started laughing like either a maniac or a villain. Both ways was really creepy, and making the other Titians wonder if maybe the Boy Wonder was on steroids or something like that.

****

**Don't put another dime in the jukebox,**

**I don't wanna hear that song no more.**

**Don't put another dime in the jukebox,**

**I don't wanna hear that song no more.**

****

"Titans, GO!" Robin yelled at the top of his lungs, sounding like a squeaky schoolgirl for some reason.

The background went all slashy and the Titans did some really cool stuff! It was awesome! Ah ha ha ha!

****

**Don't wanna hear that song no more, no more,**

**Don't wanna hear that song no more.**

**Don't wanna hear that song no more, no more,**

**Don't wanna hear that song.**

**Don't wanna hear that song no more, no more,**

**Don't wanna hear that song no more.**

**Don't put another dime in the jukebox,**

**Cuz' I don't wanna hear that song no more.**

**Don't put another dime in the jukebox,**

**I don't wanna hear that song no more.**

**Don't put another dime in the jukebox,**

**I don't wanna hear that song no more.**

**Don't put another dime in the jukebox,**

**I don't wanna hear that song no more.**

**Don't put another dime in the jukebox,**

**I don't wanna hear that song no more.**

****

Well, the song was annoying as hell, so it was pretty easy for the Titans to totally destroy the freaking jukebox.

You know, that and the fact that it was a JUKEBOX. Really now, how hard is it to destroy a jukebox? Any hobo with a bat could do that.

"Pizza's up!" Yelled the acne-faced pizza boy.

Now that Starfire had...like, runaway or something (we always knew she was a wuss!), the Titans could eat their pizza in peace.

Then they went home and stuff.

It's not like this story was going to go on forever or anything.

Oh, and it turned out that Willy Wonka make the jukebox, but no one found out because of reasons that I don't feel like making up. Maybe later or something. Or you can make up your own. You know. What ever floats your boat, or whatever.

So...the end.

Bitch.

**A/N: It sucks and there are probably no on reading my shit no more, but review if you are. Make me feel better.**


End file.
